Pete's Voyage to America

Pete finds himself in the remote island nation of Taka-Tuka Land, where he is the only person aware that the world is round. He lobbies the King for a ship and a small crew to voyage westward to the continent of Asuwa to prove his claim. Taka-Tuka Land's leading theologians warn against this voyage, as they are certain the world is flat. The King, however, grants Pete's request in exchange for whatever riches they may find should they reach Asuwa.

Pete, having never led such a grand voyage, gravely underestimates the duration of this adventure. A month passes with no sign of land, and his crew, at their wits' end, threatens a mutiny. However, Pete inspires them with an impassioned speech about the founder of Captain D's and his unwavering determination to "sell seafood so cheap you have to wonder what it is you're eating." Though his speech had little to do with their predicament, it still quells their hostility. Later that night, Pete notices a drunk man passed out in an inner tube floating below deck. He is sure that land must be nearby. He peers through his toy View-Master for a better look and can see such wonders as the Pyramids of Giza, the Eiffel Tower, Niagara Falls, and the Grand Canyon. This does not seem like Asuwa at all.

      They arrive to find horseless carriages and tall buildings. The crew befriends the rotund natives, who teach them the art of deep-frying Oreos and other sweets. Pete informs them that he will return to Taka-Tuka Land to tell the King about this new world they have discovered. He arrives back in Taka-Tuka Land with gifts of deep-fried foods that "shouldn't be delicious but are". Impressed, the King holds an extravagant banquet in Pete's honor, though the King is unsatisfied and desires more fried delicacies. Pete leads a second expedition, this time with 69 ships, at Pete's request. Weeks later, precisely 420 men and women set foot to colonize this new continent, despite it already being inhabited for countless centuries. With Pete's leadership, the settlers begin construction on the town of Alex Trebekuator.

      Their first order of business is to secure food and treasures to bring back to the King. The people of Alex Trebekuator raid a local temple, which the natives call "Walmart." They discover a plethora of items never before seen in Taka-Tuka Land. While some make voyages homeward to bring back these newfound riches, others stay behind to build housing and other amenities. However, the natives are not pleased with the construction of such a town. Men in blue armor come with papers and talk of "trespassing" and "zoning code violations." Their many raids against businesses draw further ire. Unwilling to submit to the tyranny of savages, Pete leads his people into the great "Battle of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd." Unfortunately, the battle is a complete loss, as they are no match for the Blue Army.

      The Alex Trebekuator Empire falls, and the natives of Taka-Tuka Land are promptly deported back to their home country. Pete, however, is not sent back, as this had been his own country all along.