My own little 1990s desktop, complete with a CRT monitor and all-beige computer components. I have a modern PC, of course, but I've been using this guy for writing mostly and having a wonderful time. It just feels right. Simple machine, narrow-focused, no Internet, no distractions, all the charm. I'm sure I'll add old games and more software down the line. Yes yes, my heart is happy.

The telephone just happened to be in the desk drawer. It doesn't work, but it does fit the mood quite nicely.

Yes, get your sweetheart a cheaply made 71-inch adjustable floor lamp this Valentine's Day. I believe it was Lord Byron who wrote, "The fastest way to a person's heart is reduced-price light fixtures from eBay."

By virtue of supreme authority, I hereby ordain the following list into the Western canon of essential America soda flavors:

1. Cola
2. Lemon lime
3. Orange soda
4. Dr. Pepper-style
5. Root beer
6. Cherry cola
7. Mountain Dew-style
8. Grape soda
9. Ginger ale
10. Cream soda

I've tried to describe myself with little bullet points as best I can. Just thought it might be a neat experiment.

• Anxious homeschool kid from Alabama

• Sentimental, nostalgic, old soul

• Shy, quiet, horrible at talking

• Poor eye-contact, nervous tics, smiles a lot

• Soft, empathetic, agreeable, meek

• Fragile, sensitive, falls into depressions

• Passive, reserved, conflict-avoidant

• Eternal optimist, always hopeful

• Gross foods don't exist

• Absurdist, juvenile, sometimes racy sense of humor

• Feminist, not very masculine

• Mostly vegetarian, occasionally eats fish

• Secular humanist, irreligious, skeptical

• Politically left-leaning

• Mildly patriotic, happy to be American / Alabamian

• Single, no kids, prefers friendships

• Always has cats, adores squirrels and other critters

• Contemplative, in own little world

• Many creative passions and hobbies

• Would catch and release a wandering mosquito

• Pica disorder

• Makes music and artwork, writes a bunch

• Has a very dear fantasy world

• List enthusiast, enjoys organization

• '90s kid, likes cartoons, JRPGs, Nintendo, child at heart

• Loves movies, old-time radio, comics, and ragtime

• Pack rat (hoarder?), keeps many things

• Wants a worldly, well-rounded education

• Enjoys classic literature and old books

• Loony hermit, doesn't get out much

• Plays Plok sometimes probably

Mail people are good people, even if they don't always do as I ask (⌐■_■)

Popeye is in our hands now. It's only a matter of time before someone produces an R-rated Popeye horror film. It lurked in the darkness and made a terrible cry. A-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh."

Yes, the short-lived audience participation show that ran from 1954-1955 on NBC. Quite the unfortunate title, guys. Children would perform a variety of wacky tasks and stunts to win prizes, kind of like Truth or Consequences. Does anyone remember Truth or Consequences? Bob Barker hosted it for like 20 years. Anyway, no episodes of Funny Boners are known to survive. Someone tell the Lost Media Wiki to get on it. The world needs Funny Boners.

Just a friendly reminder that Newgrounds, along with most other websites, has options for two-factor authentication. Strong passwords are simply not enough anymore. I thought I was being safe, but sure enough, some lowlife clawed their way into my Discord account briefly and spammed a bunch of nonsense. The nerve. I'd been using 2FA for websites with sensitive information, but now I see it's a must for all websites, period. It's not just your money and information they're after. Having to take the extra precautions is irritating and a pain, but it's quite necessary these days.

Most websites have a "Security" or "Login" section in their settings where you can enable 2FA. If you're unsure about what two-factor authentication is, definitely look into it (before it's too late).

Stay safe (¬_¬ )