Inflation has gotten out of hand.

There's a neat computer application called Kiwix that allows offline access to Wikipedia and other helpful resources. It's ideal for places where censorship or lack of Internet is an issue, but it's also just rad to have. You can download the top 1 million articles from Wikipedia, which is only about 39 gigabytes if you can believe it, or you can download all 6,958,481 English Wikipedia articles if you're an insane person. Then you can look stuff up on Wikipedia even with no Internet connection. The hyperlinks work, the search bar works, and in the words of the great philosopher Todd Howard, "It just works." Put it on your laptop or phone when you travel so you can read all about the development of Shrek 2 without ever asking for a Wi-Fi password. Articles won't reflect recent changes or remain totally up-to-date, but for most things, it's a perfectly fine wealth of information to have. Very cool.

The claimed health benefits seem pretty dubious and unclear, but I just love me some kombucha. It's pretty much just fermented tea with bubbles, but, you know, it has its fans. Yes yes, very good.

I never leave the house without my Folgers™ instant coffee and my genuine faux-leather-bound copy of the United States Constitution.

My own little 1990s desktop, complete with a CRT monitor and all-beige computer components. I have a modern PC, of course, but I've been using this guy for writing mostly and having a wonderful time. It just feels right. Simple machine, narrow-focused, no Internet, no distractions, all the charm. I'm sure I'll add old games and more software down the line. Yes yes, my heart is happy.

The telephone just happened to be in the desk drawer. It doesn't work, but it does fit the mood quite nicely.

Yes, get your sweetheart a cheaply made 71-inch adjustable floor lamp this Valentine's Day. I believe it was Lord Byron who wrote, "The fastest way to a person's heart is reduced-price light fixtures from eBay."

By virtue of supreme authority, I hereby ordain the following list into the Western canon of essential America soda flavors:

1. Cola
2. Lemon lime
3. Orange soda
4. Dr. Pepper-style
5. Root beer
6. Cherry cola
7. Mountain Dew-style
8. Grape soda
9. Ginger ale
10. Cream soda

I've tried to describe myself with little bullet points as best I can. Just thought it might be a neat experiment.

• Anxious homeschool kid from Alabama

• Sentimental, nostalgic, old soul

• Shy, quiet, horrible at talking

• Poor eye-contact, nervous tics, smiles a lot

• Soft, empathetic, agreeable, meek

• Fragile, sensitive, falls into depressions

• Passive, reserved, conflict-avoidant

• Eternal optimist, always hopeful

• Gross foods don't exist

• Absurdist, juvenile, sometimes racy sense of humor

• Feminist, not very masculine

• Mostly vegetarian, occasionally eats fish

• Secular humanist, irreligious, skeptical

• Politically left-leaning

• Mildly patriotic, happy to be American / Alabamian

• Single, no kids, prefers friendships

• Always has cats, adores squirrels and other critters

• Contemplative, in own little world

• Many creative passions and hobbies

• Would catch and release a wandering mosquito

• Pica disorder

• Makes music and artwork, writes a bunch

• Has a very dear fantasy world

• List enthusiast, enjoys organization

• '90s kid, likes cartoons, JRPGs, Nintendo, child at heart

• Loves movies, old-time radio, comics, and ragtime

• Pack rat (hoarder?), keeps many things

• Wants a worldly, well-rounded education

• Enjoys classic literature and old books

• Loony hermit, doesn't get out much

• Plays Plok sometimes probably

Mail people are good people, even if they don't always do as I ask (⌐■_■)