TL;DR - I watched The Next Generation with my mom as a kid, but haven't got into Star Trek as an adult. I'm giving the franchise another chance and currently watching Star Trek: Enterprise as I make my way up through the Star Trek timeline. I am enjoying the ride so far :-)

Never really got into the franchise before now. I used to like watching The Next Generation with my mom as a kid, but never watched a Star Trek series from beginning to end. All the wasted years...

I've made attempts to watch The Original Series, but never finished it for whatever reason. Rather than watch the series in the order of release, I've chosen this time to watch each show as it fits into the Star Trek timeline. You know, like watching the Star Wars prequel trilogy before the originals (which is a perfectly fine way to watch Star Wars). I don't think the recent Star Trek films are canon with the shows, so I'll probably skip those for now. I don't think the continuity is all that important, but that's the way I'm doing it. I started Star Trek: Enterprise last night, which is the earliest series in the Star Trek chronology, and ended up watching 8 episodes. Needless to say, I heckin' enjoy it so far. Apparently it's not a fan favorite, but I don't know, I dig it. The stories have something to say, the art and effects are great, I enjoy the world-building, and I really like the main cast. Dr. Phlox is a gem in every scene he's in. I'm hoping none of the characters die, you know? No spoilers please. Not gonna lie, I get a little worried when they're in dangerous situations. That's the secret to good action I guess, having characters people actually care about.

Anyhow, here's hoping this level of quality remains consistent as I voyage through the franchise. As for the nearly 1000 Star Trek novels, don't know if I have time for those, dawg.

A boy and his birb.

My fabled lost game made during my teenage years may exist after all. I found an old 20 GB hard drive I believe contains my old file. I thought this drive was long gone along with the rest of the computer, but here it is. I don't know if it's still functional. It's from the early-to-mid 2000s and it's been in a dusty closet for over a decade. I've talked about Space Foot many times before, and how it's probably the worst video game of all time, but I don't know, it has sentimental value beyond the sum of its awful code. I'm hopeful I can recover it all these years later. There are other games, too, maybe even some I've forgotten about.

I can't imagine this matter much to anyone but me, but I'll keep you posted on the ongoing saga of Bertn's laughably bad games. Fingers crossed <3

I saw this at my local used game shop and thought I'd give it a fair shake, putting its questionable development aside. The trailers are a cringe festival, but I always thought the gameplay itself looked fun. Maybe it'll be The Phantom Menace, where it's a pretty good time, but people set their expectations a bit too high. I don't know, we'll see.

Also, livin' that sweet Wii U life~

Don't worry, reading the other chapters isn't required. I may not be a great writer, but I have fun~

2021 has been a pretty uneventful year here in the States. Some mad lads went in the Capitol Building, a generic old man became President, it snowed in Texas, some soldiers came home, a show about squids playing tag or whatever came out, Alec Baldwin shot a guy. Sizable yawn.

Silliness aside, 2021 has actually been an okay year for me. Not so many bad days, fairly productive, things are going better for people in my life, and I'm somewhat kinda sorta mildly excited for 2022. In the immortal words of Bubsy the Bobcat, what can possibly go wrong? Anywhom, I hope that 2021 wasn't terrible for you and that 2022 is even less so.

Have a lovely day, person~

The low effort writings of a squirrel.

Pete's Voyage to America

Pete finds himself in the remote island nation of Taka-Tuka Land, where he is the only person aware that the world is round. He lobbies the King for a ship and a small crew to voyage westward to the continent of Asuwa to prove his claim. Taka-Tuka Land's leading theologians warn against this voyage, as they are certain the world is flat. The King, however, grants Pete's request in exchange for whatever riches they may find should they reach Asuwa.

Pete, having never led such a grand voyage, gravely underestimates the duration of this adventure. A month passes with no sign of land, and his crew, at their wits' end, threatens a mutiny. However, Pete inspires them with an impassioned speech about the founder of Captain D's and his unwavering determination to "sell seafood so cheap you have to wonder what it is you're eating." Though his speech had little to do with their predicament, it still quells their hostility. Later that night, Pete notices a drunk man passed out in an inner tube floating below deck. He is sure that land must be nearby. He peers through his toy View-Master for a better look and can see such wonders as the Pyramids of Giza, the Eiffel Tower, Niagara Falls, and the Grand Canyon. This does not seem like Asuwa at all.

      They arrive to find horseless carriages and tall buildings. The crew befriends the rotund natives, who teach them the art of deep-frying Oreos and other sweets. Pete informs them that he will return to Taka-Tuka Land to tell the King about this new world they have discovered. He arrives back in Taka-Tuka Land with gifts of deep-fried foods that "shouldn't be delicious but are". Impressed, the King holds an extravagant banquet in Pete's honor, though the King is unsatisfied and desires more fried delicacies. Pete leads a second expedition, this time with 69 ships, at Pete's request. Weeks later, precisely 420 men and women set foot to colonize this new continent, despite it already being inhabited for countless centuries. With Pete's leadership, the settlers begin construction on the town of Alex Trebekuator.

      Their first order of business is to secure food and treasures to bring back to the King. The people of Alex Trebekuator raid a local temple, which the natives call "Walmart." They discover a plethora of items never before seen in Taka-Tuka Land. While some make voyages homeward to bring back these newfound riches, others stay behind to build housing and other amenities. However, the natives are not pleased with the construction of such a town. Men in blue armor come with papers and talk of "trespassing" and "zoning code violations." Their many raids against businesses draw further ire. Unwilling to submit to the tyranny of savages, Pete leads his people into the great "Battle of Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd." Unfortunately, the battle is a complete loss, as they are no match for the Blue Army.

      The Alex Trebekuator Empire falls, and the natives of Taka-Tuka Land are promptly deported back to their home country. Pete, however, is not sent back, as this had been his own country all along.

I hate to disappoint my progenitors, but this lineage ends with me. I don't want children. No thanks~

Huh, I always thought my great-great-great grandfather was a coffee maker.